it amazes me sometimes how the human mind works, and the strange things we can invent with our imaginations. Bigfoot, yeti, the Lock Ness monster, space aliens and a myriad of other creatures that have been blamed for destruction, mayhem, or just general nastiness (gremlins, anyone?). But it's not always large frightening monsters, sometimes it can be something small and seemingly innocent. such is the case with last night, or more correctly, this morning, at 3 am.
I got up to attend the call of nature, and still in slumberland, stumbled my way to the bathroom, barely aware of my surroundings. thank god i've done this a few times or i might not have made it. on the way, i noticed the package of TP my roommate left on the floor, and the name of it. I won't say it, i don't want to be sued by some over zealous corporte lawyer, suffice it to say you'll recognize it from the description. the commercials show three ladies "quilting" toilet tissue. and it suddenly occured to me; there's only 3 of them. how can 3 elderly ladies make that much tissue? then, thoughts of cruel taskmasters, standing over these overworked sewers, yelling at them "faster! that shipment needs to be in Duluth by midnight!" popped into my head. I imagined the set of the commercials, the ones that make the women seem so happy at their jobs, being a place of fear and anxiety, as the sweet dears try to make it seem that they are content to do nothing but quilt toliet tissue. a production assistant is probably just off camera, holding a picture of an overwieght cat, the only companion of one of these oppressed workers, a threat, "think of what could happen, should anyone learn the truth".
of course this lead me again to one of my favorite causes du'jour, Boycott charmin!! sometime ago they started a campaign for two types of TP. one strong, one soft. what did they name these? Red (strong) and blue(soft). so, what are they saying, hmmm? in a time where states and political parties are being identified with, that's right, red and blue, here comes a product that tells you their opinion of the subject. red = strong, hardy, going to last and blue = soft, weak, possibly not able to stand up to the task at hand? (gross, sorry). i've done some searching on the internet, and it seems that I and one other person are the only ones to post on the subject. there have been some posts on the topic of boycott charmin, but that was because some lil' ol' lady in minnesota thought using bears to sell TP was tacking. no mention of their real goal.
but in the end, as i crawled back under the covers of my toasty bed, i realized what the real message of the tissue was. red or blue, strong or soft, it didn't matter cause like the parties they represent, in the end they're all full of s**t. (ewww gross again, sorry)
